Traveling Tokyo

At this point, I have been in Tokyo for a little over two and a half weeks. I have made some good friends here and been reunited with others. My days consist of riding in a car all day with the other models from my agency while our drivers take us to our castings. Upon arriving, I had a contract that guaranteed me US$14,000 as long as I book five jobs in the first ten days, and stay within my measurements. Neither of which happened so the contract was cancelled. At this point it became the agency's decision on whether I stay, or return home immediately. Despite having not booked a single job yet, the agency said that the clients do like me here, and that they would like if I stayed, so I did. In the last few days I have booked two jobs, so at least I will get something out of this trip. However, assuming that no more work comes up, I will still leave early. Most girls would be sad to leave such a nice place, but I am looking forward to it. Although life here is easy and fun, I have not been enjoying it as much as I thought. I have been missing LA more than planned. Normally when I travel, I don't get attached to anyone or anything, and I leave without any second thoughts. I find myself wanting to settle down in LA rather than continuing to travel all the time. I have been traveling nonstop for the past year, and it is starting to wear on me. I made a few very good relationships in LA, and now I want to stay there. I still plan on doing the fashion weeks in the fall, but after that, my destination is undecided. I have been thinking a lot here in Tokyo, and I found that I travel so much, not because I love it, but because all my other options seem far worse than the one I am currently embarking on. I can't imagine going to college right now and being surrounded with people my own age because of the maturity aspects; and settling down somewhere hasn't been an option because no one has given me a reason to stay. While I love my alone time, I find it very hard to be alone all of the time. I'm very much looking forward to getting back to the city of angels to figure out if I will be able to set up a home there. If not, then I suppose I will "keep on trucking" until I do find somewhere and someone worth sticking around for. I do like my job and I want to continue modeling and traveling for direct bookings (when a client books me without a casting/go-see), but living on the road all of the time isn't on the top of my to-do list at the moment. I suppose we will have to see how thing play out. I try to assure myself that no matter what happens, things will always work out for the best. "I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so you can learn to let go. Things go wrong so you can appreciate them when they go right. You believe lies so that eventually you learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so that better things can fall together" -Marilyn Monroe. This quote pretty much sums up everything that can goes wrong with my life and reminds me that everything has to work out for the best. If things aren't at they're best, then it must not be the end. At the end of the day, if you give everything your all, relationships, friendships, work, then whatever happens, you know that it wasn't your fault because you tried your best to make it happen. Despite the wall that I have surrounded myself with, I have decided to take a couple bricks off and if I get hurt, well that is my fault and I will move on.

Until all of my decision making begins, I will be in Tokyo trying my best to work and have a good time with the nightlife =). I am remaining single, not available, and sober, and loving every aspect. Until next time,

XOXO

Allison in Wonderland